I don't know what I'm doing.

I often like to fool myself into thinking that I know what to do in most situations, or that I know how to handle most circumstances.

But I don't. And it's much better when I realize that.

When I'm confronted with my own weakness, with my failure to act or react in the most God-honoring way staring me in the face, all that misplaced self-confidence (confidence in self is always misplaced, I think) gives way to humble recognition of what I am: sinful. Redeemed, justified, in the process of sanctification, but imperfect and prone to falter.

But that's how God is honored -- by using one of His weak creations for the revelation of His divine will. His glory resonates all the stronger for the frailty of the instrument in His hand.

But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."

[1 Corinthians 1:27-31][1]

No, my weakness is not my goal -- but it is my reality. I don't strive to fail, but I do fail despite my strivings for success. And this should not surprise me. I am not God -- shocking, I know -- and so I stumble. And I cry out to my Father and my Redeemer for mercy and strength. For forgiveness where I've faltered and strength not to falter again.

And His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness ([2 Corinthians 12:9][2]).

[1]: http://esvbible.org/1 Corinthians 1:27-31 [2]: http://esvbible.org/2 Corinthians 12:9